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 Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0

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Susano'o the Storm God
Jonin
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Thu Jul 07, 2011 4:20 am

Here's my entry for week 1:
Uchiha/Sharingan Eye Theme





EDIT: Obito's art comes form Deviantart user Maksitobi and the art for Obito's Excuse is a screenshot I took myself from the anime
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venkelos
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:16 pm

Sadness, Sharingan is one of my favorite, most fallen back on themes. Oh well, good choice, and I'll have to think of something a bit more original-for-me, for a goal.
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satanspawngenma
Special Jonin
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Thu Jul 07, 2011 3:33 pm

i updated my post Very Happy
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Chunin
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Thu Jul 07, 2011 6:35 pm

venkelos wrote:
Sadness, Sharingan is one of my favorite, most fallen back on themes. Oh well, good choice, and I'll have to think of something a bit more original-for-me, for a goal.
No reason you can't also do it if you want.
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venkelos
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:29 pm

I'm not sure that we got an extension/what it is, but I will hope to have my cards up tomorrow morning, after I get home from work.
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MJM
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:26 am

Yeah, the extension is until Monday. Sorry for not announcing.
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venkelos
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:19 pm

And the page changed again. Gonna take a bit of getting used to. Anyway, I have decided to do Sharingan (sorry for stepping on your theme, Susanoo), so here is the first entry set:

Theme: Sharingan/Uchiha
Ninja: Early Game + Common


character art from DeviantArt, done by Ncj700

So, here we have Sasuke. It felt weird making him, since I focus on high-turn cheese, like Akatsuki, State 2, or with Itachi's powers Sasukes more often. Still, it works out, and he's rather good. Basically, this Sasuke uses his Sharingan to try and improve the turn. If you draw a Sharingan card, you can draw again, and then discard a card. In this way, you have considerable potential control over your hand. You can get rid of things you feel you don't need, and since you discard, you don't get an extra card, just an extra chance at a good card. Otherwise, he's your regular low-turn Sasuke.

Second Card: Jutsu + Common


The pic is from a website that is down (www.nationallanguage.in), so I don't know who made it, I confess.

For my second card, I decided to make a Sharingan-flavored card. Basically, it lets you get something the Sharingan has already seen. It has some very nice flexibility, and can get you something even for a non-Sharingan ninja (say you play Sharingan + Ninja Dogs), but it has to have been played first, or at least put into a discard pile, so it isn't totally crazy. After I posted it, I thought maybe I should've called it something different, so as to not force out other Sharingan cards, but after thinking about it, I don't believe that there are any "Sharingan Eye" cards in Block, with Sharingan Activated! being the closest, and and best, approximation, so the name should be fine.


Last edited by venkelos on Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MJM
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:11 am

Link is judging so I might as well enter.

My theme is Team Hebi/Discard Water. Mechanically it's Discard Water but the characters and events used for it are based on Team Hebi.


She tutors out her teammates or supporting cards at the cost of discard 1 card from your Hand. She's one of the Uncommons due to the fact that her ability is useful but not so overwhelming that it's "broken". She is a nice card that can be fitted into any Water deck that runs another "Hebi" Ninja.


Pretty much a World of Hebi. Draw 1 and discard 1, the basic effect. And then you can discard a card from either player's Deck for the higher cost. It comes into play later on in the theme but it still is relevant when played outside of it. It is a Rare due to the fact that the other World of X cards are and I felt that it needed to be rare since it is unaffected by the opponent's effects.
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:16 am

Just a heads up, I might not have my ratings up by midnight. I'm working on it right now, but since I take 30 minutes to an hour on average for any given card and there are two cards per person, I'm gonna be at this for a while. I'll get it up before I go to sleep for sure though.
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Chunin
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:25 am

Unless Aurelio or someone else posts an entry in the next 35 minutes, the scores should be p at midnight.
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:02 am

Susano’o the Storm God
Obito

Art 4.75/5
This art is really generic-looking.

Layout 4/5
There is way too much room between the symbols.

Grammar 5/5
This seems to check out.

Playability 5/5
I think this is a really cool card with a lot of potential. The Growth engine and the way that it can sacrifice growth coins to pump itself is pretty nifty.

Creativity 5/5
This really encapsulates Obito’s ability to grow when his friends are in trouble and his sudden bursts of awesomeness.

Total 23.75/25

Obito’s Excuse
Art 5/5
Kakashi always looks great in that pose.

Layout 5/5
Seems pretty legit.

Grammar 4/5
This card should either say “Then,” or “and”, but not “In that case,”, unless I’m much mistaken.

Playability 4.5/5
I think that this card is really good, but the one thing that just really hurts it is moving your turn marker down. It makes perfect sense and it balances it really well, but it just seems like such a huge cost.

Creativity 5/5
I don’t know what to say. This card just makes a lot of sense and it’s a really nice addition to fire.

Total 23.5/25
Overall 47.25/50

MJM
Karin

Art 5/5
It looks pretty nice.

Layout 4/5
The big blank box where there should be a set symbol is really off-putting.

Grammar 4.75/5
“Hand” should not be capitalized.

Playability 4.5/5
There’s a lot of stiff competition when it comes to the Karin slot, but I’d say that this is definitely up there with the better ones.

Creativity 5/5
This is an interesting card and definitely the best choice for a tutor ninja in the Hebi theme.

Total 23.25/25

Formation of Hebi
Art 4/5
The art is really nice. It’s a shame that it looks all stretched out of shape.

Layout 5/5
This has the same problem as Karin. Even just using the brown area would look better than a big, white hole.

Grammar 3/5
Like the World cards, this should say “Apply 1 of the following” after the cost.

There are a couple of better ways to word the draw effect, but the point is that this is not one of them. “Draw 1 card. Then, discard 1 card.” or “draw 1 card and discard 1 card would have been better.”

Playability 5/5
Worlds always seem like a good idea to me. In particular, this one seems really nice to pull off. Being able to discard something you need or get rid of a crucial card of your opponent’s seems pretty sweet.

Creativity 4.5/5
Giving this card preferential treatment over other Worlds seems a bit unnecessary. I am referring to the fact that all other Worlds are only unaffected by missions. Other than that, an interesting addition to the theme and I look forward to seeing what else you’ll come up with.

Total 21.5/25
Overall 44.75/50

Venkelos
Sasuke

Art 5/5
I honestly like the art here. I’m kind of a fan of pre-Retrieval Sasuke and this outfit is one of my favorites. Nice pose too.

Layout 4/5
I guess the font you used was too small or something. The effect text is definitely off.

Grammar 3.75/5
I do not believe there should be a comma after “reveal it” in this case.

It only needs to say “discard 1 card.” It is implied that it is in your hand.

Playability 5/5
I always love to see some interesting draw cards in Fire and this is no different. This card is just really solid and all-around playable in a Sharingan deck.

Creativity 5/5
I have no complaints here. This card really does open up a lot of possibilities with the Sharingan. Nice usage of flavor text.

Total 22.75/25

Sharingan Eye
Art 5/5
It’s the kind of art I’ve come to expect of a card called “Sharingan Eye”.

Layout 3/5
I’m not going to lie, this card looks downright crappy. It seems too dark, the cost looks messed up and blurry, and the font is off, like in the other card.

Grammar 2.25/5
I do believe the flavor text should say “your”.

“Pile” shouldn’t be capitalized.

It should be “reveal it” and “move it to your hand”
Bandai is really inconsistent on whether or not you need to say that you shuffle your deck, so for future reference, you don’t have to bother, but this wording is fine.

Playability 4/5
This is very similar to that jutsu that gets another jutsu from your discard pile that I forgot what it’s called. Nonetheless, I enjoy a card like this. All that hurts it is that it is useless in a jutsu war.

Creativity 4/5
Like I said, this is very similar to another card, but it is still different enough and fitting enough in terms of flavor for that not to be a huge problem.

Total 18.25/25
Overall 41/50

SatanSpawnGenma

Pain (Animal Path)
[u]Art 5/5

The art here is pretty nice.

Layout 4/5
The symbol should be behind the art unless it would result in the symbol being impossible or nearly impossible to see.

Grammar 1.25/5
There should not be a period after the Sacrifice effect.

“Marker” should be capitalized.

It should say “Ninja card” rather than “Ninja”.

“Show it to your opponent” should no longer be used. The correct wording is “reveal it”.

There should be a comma after “show it to your opponent”.

“Put it in your hand” should be “move it to your hand”.

Playability 3.5/5
This is a very nice card. My only problem with it is how powerful it is. The first problem is that it says “at the beginning of the turn” instead of “at the beginning of your turn” and can therefore grab a ninja at the beginning of each player’s turn when your turn marker is even, which is nuts as hell.

The second problem is that there is no cost or limitation on the ninja besides the Pain name. If nothing else it draws you an extra card every turn and makes Pain decks super consistent.

Creativity 4/5
This is a very nice card, but it is definitely too strong for its rarity. A put in play version of the effect or a higher rarity would have served it better.

Also, the fact that this can’t actually summon any of the Pain summons is weird. It should probably get Rinnegan ninja instead.

Total 17.75/25

Chakra Disruptor Blade
Art 5/5
I really like the look of the blood on the blade.

Layout 5/5
Everything seems fine here.

Grammar 2/5
“Entrance cost of 3 or more” should not be in quotes and “cost” should not be capitalized.

“Battling” should be capitalized and spelled properly.

“User” shouldn’t be capitalized and there should be no period after it.

“Damage” should be capitalized. “Target” should not be.
It should be “opponent’s” and “chakra”.

Playability 2.5/5
Giving a damage to a ninja battling against the user for 2 chakra and a Turn 3 requirement is really not all that good. Even without the requirement, that’s just about an average effect, so it’s just decent, I’d say.

The one part that is supposed to make this shine is sadly flawed on a level that makes it useless. The Expert requirement will never go off because there is no ninja simply named “Pain” in the game. That’s typically why most cards say “Rinnegan” for a requirement or Expert effect.

Creativity 3/5
This card feels really generic. I think a better effect with a more specific requirement or a more unique effect n some other way would have been infinitely superior to just a generic damage and chakra drain jutsu.

Total 17.5/25
Overall 35.25/50

DeadpoolWins
Konohamaru

Art 4/5
You really should do a little more research to see if art has been used before, as this art indeed has.

Layout 5/5
This card seems fine to me here.

Grammar 1.25/5
Any real card would just have Konohamaru refer to him as Naruto.

It should be “Naruto’s”.

It should be “is in this”, as opposed to “is this”.

It should be “Ninja’s Team”.

There should be no comma after “+2/+0”.

The current preferred wording is “unaffected by your opponent’s Jutsus”.

Playability 2/5
These are most definitely the stats of a Turn 0, not a Turn 1.

Another thing hurting this card is that Naruto must be in its team to get the pump. Problem with that is Naruto and Konohamaru are definitely both combat ninja, not support ninja.

Creativity 3/5
Generic pumps for having another ninja are almost always pretty lame. Also, random protection is pretty lazy too. And to boot, it is useless, since most early ninja aren’t getting targeted by jutsu.

A large complaint I have is that these could not be further from Konohamaru stats. Like Naruto, his power should always go up when he is injured. This is a law of the universe.

Total 15.25/25

Sexy Girl on Girl

Art 5/5
You’d be hard-pressed to find some guy complaining about this.

Layout 4/5
Pretty sure this is supposed to be Lightning, not Void.

Grammar 3.5/5
The flavor text should have a question mark.

“User” should not be capitalized. “Female” and “Male”, on the other hand, should be.

There should not be a comma anywhere on this card.

Playability 0/5
Sorry to tell you, but this card has no effect. This could easily be a mission and do something, but as a jutsu, it is literally impossible for this card to do anything. You are already in battle by the time you use this, so you wouldn’t become unblocked, the effect would just be useless.

Also, it’s really expensive, even if it did work.

Creativity 4/5
Your head was in the right place, but you really just came up with something that didn’t do anything.

Total 16.5/25
Overall 31.25/50
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Susano'o the Storm God
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:38 am

Hikari Link wrote:
Susano’o the Storm God
Obito

Art 4.75/5
This art is really generic-looking.

Layout 4/5
There is way too much room between the symbols.

Grammar 5/5
This seems to check out.

Playability 5/5
I think this is a really cool card with a lot of potential. The Growth engine and the way that it can sacrifice growth coins to pump itself is pretty nifty.

Creativity 5/5
This really encapsulates Obito’s ability to grow when his friends are in trouble and his sudden bursts of awesomeness.

Total 23.75/25

Obito’s Excuse
Art 5/5
Kakashi always looks great in that pose.

Layout 5/5
Seems pretty legit.

Grammar 4/5
This card should either say “Then,” or “and”, but not “In that case,”, unless I’m much mistaken.

Playability 4.5/5
I think that this card is really good, but the one thing that just really hurts it is moving your turn marker down. It makes perfect sense and it balances it really well, but it just seems like such a huge cost.

Creativity 5/5
I don’t know what to say. This card just makes a lot of sense and it’s a really nice addition to fire.

Total 23.5/25
Overall 47.25/50

For the grammar, Bandai tends to be a bit ambiguous, but now that I think about it, I think Bandai has been using "then" for missions and jutsus. :/
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MJM
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:38 pm

Updated, since it's 2 cards instead of 1, everyone's points doubled. So first place got 10 instead of 5, second place got 8 instead of 4, etc.
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satanspawngenma
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:42 pm

man i just get killed with grammar every time Sad

anyway here is my mid card yahiko



credit: maksitobi

misson



credit: me it is a screenshot
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:54 pm

satanspawngenma wrote:
man i just get killed with grammar every time Sad

anyway here is my mid card yahiko



credit: maksitobi

misson



credit: me it is a screenshot
One way to avoid this is to look at recent cards with similar wording to make sure you stay consistent with Bandai. It's good to check the most recent set possible, since the wording policy can change in just one set. The same can be said for punctuation and capitalization. Just look for similar wordings and see where everything goes and I'm sure you'll be fine.
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satanspawngenma
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:32 pm

yeah the grammar is difficult, cause it changes rapidly, and wildly, and is usually worded strange anyway. plus when using the grammar from a similar effect text, your effect is limited to try to stay similar to the original card.

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deadpoolwins
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:34 pm

my mid card is anko



credit- i found this picture on google images, and it had to listed creator, so idk



my misson card



credit- i got this picture from naruto.wikia.com, so i believe it to just be a screenshot
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:38 pm

deadpoolwins wrote:
my mid card is anko



credit- i found this picture on google images, and it had to listed creator, so idk



my misson card



credit- i got this picture from naruto.wikia.com, so i believe it to just be a screenshot
I'm confused... What is your theme? At first I thought it was Clone Status, but now it's unclear. It can't even be just Lightning, since your mission is Fire. Yo know you are suposed to use the same theme all month, right?
satanspawngenma wrote:
yeah the grammar is difficult, cause it changes rapidly, and wildly, and is usually worded strange anyway. plus when using the grammar from a similar effect text, your effect is limited to try to stay similar to the original card.

Not completely. If you've got a brand new effect with no precedent, you can do what you please. That's just rarely the case, since so many cards have been made.
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MJM
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:55 pm

His theme is Leaf Shinobi. He posted that he had changed it.
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:59 pm

MJM wrote:
His theme is Leaf Shinobi. He posted that he had changed it.
I hadn't noticed that one.
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Susano'o the Storm God
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Fri Jul 15, 2011 6:45 am





Tobi's image came from Photobucket user LeGaCyO.

Uchiha Revolt was a screenshot I took myself

EDIT: It's a good thing a certain Tobi is rotating out, otherwise, just like all Tobi's, this Tobi would have low playability XD
Shame Giant Eagle is rotating though DX


Last edited by Susano'o the Storm God on Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:57 pm; edited 2 times in total
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venkelos
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:00 pm

I'm probably gonna lose out on it being too powerful for uncommon (rarity measurement has NEVER been one of my strong suits), but I'll risk it. Here's Shisui Uchiha.


Pic from DeviantArt, artist Gaias

So, here we have Shisui Uchiha, one of the most powerful Uchihas, especially for not being actually in anything. Part of how I am jutifyong his rarity is that his effects are sort of mutually exclusive. His primary ability allows you to seize an opponent's ninja, but then you lose this one. If you choose not to use it, you have a jumping Support ninja with good stats, some useful characteristics, and the stuff needed to use most any Uchiha/Sharingan jutsus. If you do use the effect, your opponent can break it, just by getting rid of this chakra, or if you lose the ninja, you can redeploy this ninja, and do it again.

For the second, I made this Mission:


Image from Crunchyroll. Not sure where they got it.

It doesn't do a whole lot, but it does benefit that mad scientist of ninjas, Madara. He draws strength from the other, fallen Uchihas, smug in the knowledge that they brought about their own demise, and you can lose a bit of his boost to have him go mad scientist, and cannibalize one of their corpses to fix his wounds. It might not seem like much, buit Madara is a a high-cost investment, and one worth keeping around. It's lower EC, but there might be some Tobi, someday, that has Name: Madara Uchiha, or you might tie in effects that lower his cost, so it reflects that.

Okay, that's it.
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Susano'o the Storm God
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:21 pm

Susano'o the Storm God wrote:
Hikari Link wrote:
Susano’o the Storm God
Obito

Art 4.75/5
This art is really generic-looking.

Layout 4/5
There is way too much room between the symbols.

Grammar 5/5
This seems to check out.

Playability 5/5
I think this is a really cool card with a lot of potential. The Growth engine and the way that it can sacrifice growth coins to pump itself is pretty nifty.

Creativity 5/5
This really encapsulates Obito’s ability to grow when his friends are in trouble and his sudden bursts of awesomeness.

Total 23.75/25

Obito’s Excuse
Art 5/5
Kakashi always looks great in that pose.

Layout 5/5
Seems pretty legit.

Grammar 4/5
This card should either say “Then,” or “and”, but not “In that case,”, unless I’m much mistaken.

Playability 4.5/5
I think that this card is really good, but the one thing that just really hurts it is moving your turn marker down. It makes perfect sense and it balances it really well, but it just seems like such a huge cost.

Creativity 5/5
I don’t know what to say. This card just makes a lot of sense and it’s a really nice addition to fire.

Total 23.5/25
Overall 47.25/50

For the grammar, Bandai tends to be a bit ambiguous, but now that I think about it, I think Bandai has been using "then" for missions and jutsus. :/

trollolol, quoting myself...

Anyways, I did a bit a research (don't worry about the judging for Obito's excuse), and for some reason, the Old Faces,New Problems uses "Then," but the card After the Battle uses "In that case," yet they are from the same set, and their effects are both written in a very similar way besides the change between using "In that case," and "Then".
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MJM
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:37 pm

Susano'o the Storm God wrote:
trollolol, quoting myself...

Anyways, I did a bit a research (don't worry about the judging for Obito's excuse), and for some reason, the Old Faces,New Problems uses "Then," but the card After the Battle uses "In that case," yet they are from the same set, and their effects are both written in a very similar way besides the change between using "In that case," and "Then".

It's because AtB sets a Requirement/Cost for the draw to be applied. If a card uses "In that case", the "case" has to be applied. So if you cannot discard 1 card, you cannot draw 3 cards. However, OFNP does not set a Requirement for the draw. So if you cannot discard the top 4 cards of your Deck, you can still draw 2 cards.

The best way for you to have worded your card is like this:

"Move your Turn Marker down by 1. In that case, draw 3 cards."

The negative is the requirement set for the "In that case" effect 95% of the time. "Then" is usually used when there is no big negative or requirement set.

In other words, Jutsu or Mission that use "In that case" and do not trigger at a specific time have an "additional cost" if you will. The cost of the Mission is the Hand cost and meeting the Entrance cost. Then the Mission is placed on the chain, when it resolves, it tries to place an effect on the chain. If that effect has a cost, such as After the Battle, then the cost of "discarding 1 card" must be fulfilled to draw 3 cards.

Does everyone understand or was it too sloppy?
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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:18 am

I messed up on Karin's Card Number, she's supposed to say 001.



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PostSubject: Re: Mendo's Ongoing Tourney 4.0   

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